HOW TO MAKE TOUGH DECISIONS (WITHOUT LOSING YOUR MIND)
When I was a kid, I discovered a worn-out book of Robert Frost’s poems on my mom’s bookshelf. She had saved it from her own school days, and it was filled with little notes in the margins—her thoughts, interpretations, and maybe the names of a high school crush or two.
That’s where I first read The Road Not Taken, and even then, it stuck with me:
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both...
I didn’t realize it at the time, but that poem was my first lesson in decision-making.
Life is just a series of forks in the road, moments when we have to choose a path without knowing exactly where it will lead. But we have to move toward one or the other.
Choice vs. Decision: What’s the Difference?
I used to think “choice” and “decision” were the same thing, but they’re not. A choice is just a list of options. A decision is the action of picking one. And here’s where we get stuck: we tend to agonize over making the perfect decision—the one that guarantees success, happiness, and zero regret.
Spoiler alert: That doesn’t exist.
Avoiding Analysis Paralysis and its Opposite
Lucky for me, I am not really much of an overthinker - because I have seen time and again that overthinking is the way to stay completely stuck. I actually tend to be a little too quick in my decisions, responses and reactions, though, which also isn’t always great.
The happy medium? Give yourself a deadline. Not every decision needs to (or should) be made right now, but most of them shouldn’t take weeks of agonizing, either.
When you feel stuck, ask yourself:
If I had to choose right now, what would I pick? (Gut instincts matter!)
Play the tape forward - what’s the worst that could happen? (And can I survive it? Probably.)
Do I really need to expend energy stressing over this? (Remember, almost nothing is a mistake!)
Then if you, like me, sometimes act with an overabundance of speed, simply slow down. Deadlines work here, too - almost nothing needs to be responded to in the moment, even if you’re in the room with someone who wants an answer from you.
In that case, simply say, “Thanks for this information [or question or directive] - I need a few minutes to process it all, and I’ll get back to you shortly.”
Trusting Yourself (Even When It’s Scary)
Here’s something I’ve learned: the more you listen to your gut, the stronger it gets. The more you trust yourself, the easier decisions become. It’s like a muscle—you have to exercise it.
The best part? When you make a decision from a place of self-trust, you can own it, no matter how it turns out. There’s no spiraling, no self-loathing. Just accountability.
Mistakes Will Happen—So What?
I used to be terrified of making the wrong decision. And still have troubling not beating myself up for mistakes, perceived or otherwise. But here’s the reality: We will make mistakes. We will fumble. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s learning how to pivot when things don’t go as planned.
If you mess up, fix it. Apologize if needed. Adjust and move on. Regret is just wasted energy. I wrote about this in my blog post How to Recover from Mistakes and Regret, and let me tell you—owning your choices is one of the most powerful things you can do.
Nobody Has It All Figured Out
One of my favorite things to remember when I feel lost? Nobody knows what they’re doing. Seriously. Even the most successful people are winging it half the time. I wrote about this in Nobody Knows What She’s Doing, and it’s one of the most freeing truths.
So if you’re feeling unsure, know that you’re in good company.
Pick Your Path - Weighted Toward the Road Less Traveled
The final lines of the Frost poem are the most important:
…I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference…
You’re never really stuck—you just have to make the tough choice to decide. My suggestion? Go with the road less traveled. It’s uncomfortable but the payoff is huge. And once you do, trust yourself enough to follow through with whatever you’re faced with.
As another great 19th century writer (Thoreau) wrote: likely it’s then that you’ll meet with “success unexpected in common hours.”